Hello! Today, I’m here (not doing an important assignment) to bring to light the truth about bisexuality. There are a lot of myths and weird stigmas surrounding bisexuals, and the best way to disprove these is to talk about them with bisexuals- in this case, yours truly!
So, to start off with a bang, let’s cover rooming with a bisexual person. Basically, it’s like rooming with any other person. My dear roommate, Habib, reacted quite well when I told her I was bi a few months ago. She is an Ally, however, and I recognize that not everyone reacts like this. Some adverse reactions are due to the fact that people assume that a girl bisexual (such as myself) is going to help herself to liberties with the roommate, such as sneaking in her bed at night or something. That isn’t a bisexual trait- that is a rapist trait. Just because I am bisexual does not mean I completely ignore the rules of consent, because I’m not a rapist. I treat my roommate with respect, and we maintain an excellent relationship. Even if I was attracted to her (which I am not) and single, I doubt I would pursue her just because you don’t sleep with roommates/co-workers- basically, you don’t sh*t where you sleep. I wouldn’t want it to be awkward if it didn’t work out. Conclusion: Bisexual people are not rapists by nature.
That brings us to another point- bisexuals are not attracted to every human on the face of this earth. That would be pansexuality. Bisexuals have the possibility of being attracted to a male or a female. We don’t limit ourselves to one gender. It’s actually sort of offensive when I come out to people and the first thing I see is them being uncomfortable with me because they think I’m going to hit on them. Just because I am bisexual, does not mean I am attracted to you. Chances are, I’m not. Conclusion: Bisexuals aren’t attracted to everyone- we are attracted to certain people, but not the entire human population.
There is an assumption that is going around that bisexuals are weird, defective or transformed magically by their own sexuality. Or something like that (I think). We aren’t weird. Don’t treat us differently than before, because we are exactly the same person as before. My personality didn’t change when I realized I was bisexual- it is one facet of my character. It didn’t change me, not fundamentally. I’m the same at my core, my sexuality will never change my core values and beliefs. There’s no reason to be uncomfortable around me, because I’m still the same person and friend as before. Now you just know a little more about me. I promise the bisexuality won’t rub off if you give me a hug, and I promise I won’t be crude about it. Conclusion: My sexuality doesn’t change me at all.
Another myth to debunk: bisexuals are promiscuous. This is a generalization. It all depends on the person we are discussing. If you are talking about me, for example, I am not promiscuous at all. I have a boyfriend, and he is the only one I have ever slept with. I was a virgin when we first made love, and he was as well. I figured out I was bi about halfway through our relationship, and that hardly made me feel the need to hook up with someone different every night. But that’s just me- some bisexuals are more sexually adventurous partner wise than I am. However, this one really just depends on the person. Just like a heterosexual person can sleep with a lot of people, so can a bisexual person. On the reverse side of that, one can be a bisexual celibate person just as easily as a straight celibate person. Conclusion: We aren’t promiscuous, as a population. It depends on the person (just like anything else).
Yet another one of these unending myths is that bisexuals can’t settle down with one person. I am living proof that this is completely wrong. Besides, I hate being told what I can and can’t do. I’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for a year and a half, and I plan on being with him for the rest of my life. I may be attracted to girls and guys, but I can control myself. Promise.
Another one is the saying that we are just confused. I am hardly confused. I like guys. I like girls. It isn’t impossible. We know ourselves better than you know us, so don’t just tell us that we are confused, we are doing it for attention, or we will grow out of this phase. That is offensive and ignorant. Don’t do that, please. Also, don’t tell me that I’m not bisexual. Don’t project that on me. I will be the first one to make you uncomfortable by checking out both a hot guy and girl at the same time in front of you, just because you chose to tell me that I can’t like both at once.
Well, that’s all that I can think of right now. Did I forget anything? Leave a comment. I appreciate the feedback.
Hope you all have a flamingly fabulous day! Rachel
PS Here’s a bonus: “Bisexuals only do it because it turns guys on.” Some do, but most do not. Besides, why bother catching flack from both the LGBT community and the straight populations just to turn guys on? We get crap from both sides, so don’t belittle our sexuality.
-Thanks for reading! Rachel