How to Deal With Boyfriend’s Uber Conservative Parents???

Hello guys! Before you read, this is me asking for a bit of advice. From everyone else out there on the blogosphere.

My boyfriend, Clark, is having a “talk” with his super conservative dad in a few days. It could be about his financial situation, or it could be about little old me. I don’t post very often on my facebook, but when I do, it’s mostly articles about LGBTQ rights and feminist causes that I like. I posted a few weeks ago about the fact that my university has voted to update their policies regarding LGBTQ professors. (Links to more information provided here and here.)

Clark’s parents are insanely Christian and very conservative. The type of people that don’t really tolerate my sort of antics. I haven’t come out as bisexual fully, and am careful about who I reveal my sexuality to, so I hope they haven’t found out- because they are the type of people who would make their son break up with a girl because they ‘don’t think she is a good influence’. Which they have done before to Clark. Granted, it was when he and the girl were in middle school, but I’m scared that they will try to do it again. Although I keep my facebook toned down compared to my blog (because I’m friends with his family, and mine), I do post articles and comments on activism for minorities, LGBTQ and women’s rights. It terrifies me to think that Clark’s parents could try to separate us for this reason!

If they found out I was bisexual, I guarantee they would give Clark an ultimatum- break up with me or else. And Clark would say no, and essentially lose his funding for university as well as his family’s support. If they found out Clark and I are sexually active, I’m sure they would at least insist that he break up with me, if not completely disown him. I already told him that he will be finishing college, and loans are not a bad way to go, but things would be easier this way. (It’s kind of a shock to me that Clark didn’t turn out the way his parents are, but he is shockingly and refreshingly liberal compared to them.) If they found out I am Clark’s pet- dear Lord. They might just maim me for life for corrupting their son.

Not to mention, I want them to like me. Despite being essentially forced to hide certain aspects of myself from them. It’s been a year and a half, and I want to get along with the love of my life’s family. But if they challenge me on this, or call me unnatural, I will have no choice but to give them a thorough tongue lashing. They can be judgmental, and I will take it on myself to remind them that it isn’t their place to judge. I hope it doesn’t come to that, though, because if I let loose my little Rosie the Riveter activist inside of me, their perception of me will be forever altered (and rather badly, in their minds).

I would love some advice. Or some comfort. This is giving me some anxiety, and the pit in my stomach is beginning to form. I just kind of feel threatened by this, and sort of offended- I should not have to defend my own actions and words to people who don’t know me well. But I don’t want to jump to conclusions: I just hope I am not the main topic during the talk.

Help me out, please. Rachel


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